Five Things I Wish I Knew as a College Graduate

I’m posting this entry at the very end of Saturday and the very start of Sunday, but its already midnight in the Midwest, so we can pretend it’s just Sunday across the board. I am actually going on the Washington State Ferry to explore San Juan Island tomorrow, so this blog will be brief – but I couldn’t miss out on the chance to say “congratulations!” to my many close friends that called today (or yesterday) their graduation day!

It feels almost surreal that my planned graduation date was supposed to be today, and even more surreal that this means I graduated about a year and a half ago. I remember getting our shirts as freshmen that said “class of 2023” on them and thinking 2023 didn’t seem like a real year, and here it is. That college journey that I could have sworn we set out on yesterday is at its end. For those who aren’t in college, I am convinced college is just one of those experiences that goes by too fast, a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it adventure that you’re doing through one minute and done with the next. But for us, class of 2023 (for the purpose of this entry, we’re just going to ignore that I graduated in December 2021), we really have done it all. Throughout our college career, a pandemic broke out, a vaccine (and booster) was discovered, a war started in Ukraine, the Queen of England died AND a new king was crowned, and about eight million other events that we couldn’t have imagined would occur just four years ago. And while few of those things may seem to have much to do with each of our personal lives (except, of course, for Taylor Swift releasing three albums and going on tour), the lessons we’ve learned, the storms we’ve endured, and the people we’ve shared them with have really been at the cornerstone of showcasing our strong, resilient, united body of students, and what each of us is capable of.

Despite the tests that have been thrown at us, college students – particularly the class of 2023 – have had to adapt and compromise like never before, growing up too fast in the face of school shootings and economic instability. We have had some of the most positive and most painful days befall on us on our respective college campuses, and we have risen from our uncomfortable twin XL beds with worry, sadness, excitement, anxiety, and longing, as well as a myriad of other emotions.

If you are a 2023 graduate, friend or stranger, reading this blog: congratulations!! I hope your last four (or 2.5) years have filled you with curiosity, pride, and friendship. And I hope when you look back on your life, college surprised you in all the good ways you didn’t expect to be surprised in.

I’d love to say the worst is over, but as someone who happens to be younger than the majority of my peers, I’d love to take this opportunity to fill you in on what I wish I knew when I was in your shoes. This isn’t advice, since I’m younger than most of you, as much as it is empathy. Adjusting to college took time and a lot of expectations set aside. It would be nice to say that it is easy adjusting back the other way, but it can be even more difficult losing our quad hammocks, dining halls (even with that repulsive food), and “closing time” blasting at the bars we love. So here are the five things that I’ve learned since accidentally dropping my tassel on the floor while moving it to the other side 1 ½ years ago😉

1.) Life WILL take you to unexpected places

I have this frame on my desk that I’ve had since college that says “Let life take you to unexpected places” on it. I kept it in college as a reminder to always take risks and let life surprise me, rather than making expectations for how everything needs to go. And while this was a good thing to challenge me at UIUC, I wish I knew that the rest of life pays no attention to whether you are ready for spontaneous things to happen to you. Whether you are a planner like me, a type B member, or somewhere in the middle, nothing can prepare you for all the directions post-graduate life will come at you with. Take it from me, a NYC wannabe who now lives in Seattle and does sales, a profession she never saw herself doing. You will be challenged and thrown around your entire life, but the amount of turbulence that hits starting the day you graduate is like nothing you’ve probably experienced before. When your two options are to have life “happen to you” or make life happen, I’d say to go with the latter – but the surprises will start up very soon.

2.) Not having grades and deadlines is a super weird thing to get used to

This one mostly relates to work, but one thing I’ve taken from the past two years is that no matter how hard you try to apply college to a real-world job, particularly the assignment deadlines and expectations, it just doesn’t transfer over very well. One of the hardest parts of moving on from college is that there are no longer darties to wait all week for or social gatherings every night. It seems dramatic, but getting used to this can be a real buzz-kill. I can’t tell you the number of times me and my post-graduate friends discuss how weird it is to no longer have summers or days off that we don’t request in advance. Sure, in college, if you’re tired you can sleep in or skip the day. But the real world is cruel, complete with 9-5s, limited PTO days, and often restricting schedules that can leave you really counting the days. My “advice” here is to inject the boring weekdays with the habits and activities that DO bring you happiness. Read, cook a nice meal, explore a new city, do a picnic, and just find ways to LIVE when you are at your most bored.

3.) You will grow apart from 80% of your college friends (but meet new ones!)

Losing friendships is normal at any point in life, but at no time like college graduation, when we all get a whole lot of information as to just who is really worth keeping around. Tea, but seriously, it can be a really daunting feeling – both to lose friends and feel immense pressure to make new ones. What life has taught me is two things. Real friends will stick around, and they will also appear as long as you’re being you. For the former, I think I’ve learned that friends exist on a spectrum; you can have close friends and distant friends and irreplaceable friends and temporary friends. The key is to not put pressure on making a friendship something it’s not, because that is when people get hurt. Moving on is normal and the only way to meet new people is to let go of toxic and naturally dissipating relationships in your life. As for the second point, the best way to meet people is do the advice in #2 and be your best self. Whether its going to an improv class you love or taking a walk at a new park, getting out there is the best way to meet people you would get along with in the long run.

4.) Get ready to spend a LOT of 1:1 time with yourself

One of the most uncomfortable aspects of leaving college is also leaving behind the clubs, sororities, study abroad groups, and party friends that it gave us. College is built on groups, as is much of K-12 school, but real life confronts us with uncertainty, friends moving, apartment hunting, and the first chance we really have to be independent. Even though college might seem to be this opportunity, we are all guilty of replacing our parents with friends, of linking our identities to the people we live next door to just because its easier than making our own decisions. Guess what? While this part of post-grad life is scary, it’s probably the most rewarding surprise on this list. Once you start spending time with yourself, you’ll realize exactly what your parents, friends, teachers, and acquaintances have seen in you for the past two decades.

5.) None of us REALLY feel like adults, but I guess we are

As I’ve mentioned in another blog entry, one of the largest misconceptions I held in high school was that at the age of 25, each of us grew into a fully fledged adult capable of handling all of life’s ginormous decisions and milestones. Turns out, now that many of my friends near that scary age (lol, I’m sure it’s not that scary), I can say that adulthood isn’t any particular age or moment. It’s being an idiot a little bit every day but growing from the idiot-acracies every time they occur. It’s doing laundry and separating your whites from your darks (which I still don’t do, so very much a kid). It’s trading in the Lunchables for home cooked lunches and the papers for leasing agreements and taxes. That is adulthood, in a nutshell.

Graduating is a weird, uncomfortable, exciting, and unique transition we all eventually go through, no matter how unexpected it seems when it finally gets here. But college gives each of us not only a new way to see the world around us, but an appreciation for the school spirit and love we have for what started out as just an institution, four (million) walls placed somewhere as arbitrary as Champaign, IL.

Wherever you now call yourself an alma mater of, remember that the bonds you formed are just as much a part of you as the breakfast you had this morning or the freckles on your skin. To the people that made my college experience so special, I am grateful four years later that I knew you. And I know that I’ll be bleeding orange and blue for a very, very, VERY long time.

Congrats again and to my Illinois counterparts, I-L-L