A New Normal: Thriving in College
Hi friends! Hope you all are enjoying the not-so-fall like weather we’ve been having! I have a love / hate relationship with it, because on one side of things it’s so nice not to say goodbye to the shorts and sunglasses yet, and on the other… my cardigans and jeans are feeling neglected in the closet. It’s the Fall solstice, for god’s sake – let the sweater weather fly!
A few weekends ago, I visited my sister at Purdue University, where she just started her freshman year on campus. BOO, everyone send her hate for not going to my Alma Mater, UIUC! Just kidding, we all make mistakes. The rivalry is sort of fake anyway, since neither of us care about sports so that will never be an issue.
After being on a college campus again for a couple of days and knowing that I will be at U of I next weekend for a friend’s birthday, I thought today’s entry had to be college-themed, both as a shout-out to my sister and a little bit of nostalgia for me. I’ve already written about college-move in here , but I thought I could cover what it feels like to get used to the new normal of living on a college campus, not being too homesick, keeping friends close, and navigating such a unique four years. I feel like getting set-up at college might come naturally (or not at all), but thriving in college and getting ready for the next chapter is hard work, especially during your sophomore-senior years. So that’s enough of a preview, without further ado, let’s jump in!
Thriving in college feels weird. It’s always kind of a whirlwind, with friends, relationships, school, and school-ending to navigate at the same time. Throw in final exams, sororities, career fairs, and happy hours, and you’ve got the recipe for college chaos down.
I think the first thing that gets harder to manage through college is the juggling act that life becomes. It’s the stress to eustress pipeline, as getting to make your own schedule becomes more your responsibility, and the consequences of that become more pronounced. How much time should you spend with others versus yourself? How much time is normal to spend on work, and how do you bracket that within the social stuff? For me, it was particularly hard to draw a line within sorority boundaries. We operated off a point system, so in order to get a better room in the house your sophomore year and to get to go to some of the fun events, you had to make room for study hours, going out to random weekday functions, and sisterhood workshops. Once I actually lived in the house, the distractions only became more intertwined into campus life. There was always something happening, so to actually focus on homework stuff (and I say this as a communications major, can’t imagine what it was like for my STEM girlies out there), I had to set up shop in a library to get remotely anything done. As VP programming, I strived to create once a week events, that were organized, set up, and executed by me. And all in all, looking back, that was just way too much. I was happy with what I was able to do in the sorority, but if I had to guesstimate, about 70% of my college life ended up becoming tied to the sorority in some way. That left about 25% for schoolwork (which was honestly probably right for a comm major, who are we kidding) and 5% for social life stuff outside the sorority. Where recharging / rest time? Great question, that actually didn’t make the cut!
If I could change one thing about the first semester of my sophomore year, besides cancelling COVID so I could have a normal year, the second thing on my list would be… well making a list. A list to define my key priorities and goals for the year (i.e. go to to at least two career fairs, for instance), as well as what percent of my full energy I was putting where. And buffer in 5-10% for rest as well. You know how much battery you need to function, and avoiding burnout and homesickness is only possible if you create boundaries you can stick to with the amount of rest you need to get through the rest of everything.
Besides setting and sticking to boundaries, I recommend doing the following to truly thrive in college:
- JOURNAL once a week at least so you get your feelings out somehow
- Try to meet one friend/acquaintance per month so the same people don’t drive you insane, let new people drive you insane instead!
- Have a college medicine stash – it shocked me my sister didn’t and you need a go to process for when you inevitably get sick all the time. Let’s be real, college immune systems suck
- Make friends outside of where you live – this goes for apartments, sororities, etc.
- Getting a job / research opportunity / internship
- De-prioritize your high school friendships, choose being in the moment
- Learn how to exist solo
- If you have a car, get off campus. If not, still explore outside college. Go see some kids, some old people, so that it doesn’t become the hell of 18-22 year olds always
- Don’t feel pressured to go out, but also don’t feel pressured to stay in. Do you
- Kiss toxic friendships goodbye – I’d say there’s always one person in college that you hate at every time that your life will be better if you just let go of!
- Find the good friends. There are three people I met in college that absolutely saved me. They know who they are, but these are the people who will bring you back to “home mindset” when you’re stressed, anxious, homesick, etc.
- Do the career fairs, find time for the resumes, and do it all early. Senior year is A LOT, emotionally and physically – and you don’t want to stockpile the pressure of finding a job from scratch on those couple of months
- Trust – not only in others, not only in the process, but in yourself. This seems to be a common theme in Sincerely, Sharon, but the relationship I’ve built with myself happens to be what I’m most proud of from college and beyond.
There’s so much more I could mention, but I’m gonna end here and go sweat in the sun for the last couple of days. College is nerve-wracking, it’s complex, and filled with interesting twists and turns in every direction. You won’t have a compass, but you’ll have a general sense of where to go, and you’ve just gotta ride those highs (and lows) to graduation and the next destination after that. You can do it – Daniella and every other college – youngster I know. I officially feel old, so logging off… until next time!
Sincerely,
Sharon