The Seattle Diaries: Moving Away Edition

As I write this, I am thousands of feet in the air, probably somewhere above Idaho or something - as I head home… for good. As I shared in my last entry, I am moving back to Illinois, and for better or worse, this was my last weekend as a WA resident/seattlelite. Which reminds me- it’s time to get my drivers license renewed back to Illinois for like the third time in five years. I’ve been thinking a lot about leaving Seattle and moving in general and come to the conclusion that I move a lot.

In a weird way, I kind of think I love moving and traveling. As soon as I get used to a place, I become obsessed with change and throw myself immediately out of the comfort zone I invented. I have this inspiration poster on my wall (because of course I do) that says “let life take you to unexpected places.” And even though change makes me uncomfortable - as it does for all of us- I like the feeling of regaining the control and of always being slightly unsure of what comes next. London was an expected surprise, Seattle was an unexpected one, and as I fly home to Chicago, I’m excited to see how life intends to knock me off my feet this time.

I decided to make a top ten list (because while I may be moving states, nothing else is new) of tips for moving, targeting to others in my life who see it the way I used to- as a dive into the unknown. And while that may just sound like the title of a Frozen song, it actually has pretty massive implications that we can all stand to learn a little something from. So how do you master moving?

1.) Moving is TERRIFYING

Sure you probably hear all the time of people moving for opportunity, but whether it’s down the block or across an ocean, moving away is a scary thing, and it takes massive amounts of courage. This goes right back to last weeks entry and what I said about being “on your own, kid” (sorry I had to)- it’s scary to be in control of your own destiny, and downright terrifying to do it from an unknown place. Our homes are part of our identity, and moving away often symbolizes growing up, or at least closing a chapter of life. And change is change. As I said in my Wind of Change post, jumping off the cliff to escape the fire is a choice that often leaves us with “decision paralysis”. Moving is no exception. Who to move in with, where to move, how to structure your new life … these are all things that make the moving process feel like an impossible jail sentence. One thing after another is the moving universal truth.

2.) Going off that last point, prepare for everything to go wrong before it goes right

Speaking from just this weekend alone, the logistical process of moving from place to place is often an even bigger nightmare than its emotional turmoil. In just the past two days, our moving company raised the price of transferring my car and then almost didn’t show up at all, while my desk buyer cancelled an impromptu 24 hours before I moved out. My apartment almost forgot I was moving, I broke a nail shuffling my mattress into my car, I had a work crisis on moving day (let this be a note to everyone to take work off on the day they move), and my dresser almost didn’t fit in the car, so all the stuff had to be shoved in separately. It rained all week, so we moved out in the middle of a storm. And my move itself was spontaneously rescheduled from October to December. I could never have anticipated any of those unhappy accidents, but each time, we persevered and crawled out the other end with newfound optimism and perspective. Staying in Seattle the additional two months allowed me to come full circle with this experience and see two shows at the Paramount, experience a Washington State Halloween, and make dozens more incredible memories.

3.) Try not to procrastinate

You had to know this one was coming, but I can’t emphasize enough how much doing one thing a day saved me during the packing process. I got some great advice from a friend to make a list breaking down the different parts of my apartment (kitchen, living area, bathroom, etc) and the things I was taking back from each part. Then I did one area a day for a week, saving the last two days for actually experiencing Seattle rather than packing at all. By doing this, I only hated my life at. 3/10 instead of a 10/10. So really- all you lazy friends of mine, do the same thing and packing will run a hell of a lot smoother across the board.

4.) Letters of Abandonment?!?!

So if you aren’t new here, you know that I do a little thing that my friends and I started in London where we write notes to each other to say goodbye whenever we depart somewhere, whether it’s a temporary or permanent move. I’m sure my other loved ones think I’m being dramatic Sharon as usually (especially since I fully intend on seeing everyone again soon so it’s more of a “see you later” than a goodbye) but it’s more of something for me to process my emotions and consider the relationships I’ve built on a different scale. Which ones do I see and want to see last when the proximity isn’t there anymore? How have my new friends grown me and what will I miss most about the part of my life I’m leaving behind? By sorting through these questions and putting the thoughts to paper, it helps me understand that while I’ll physically be in a different place, the boundaries, lessons, and connections that have transpired in one home can and do transfer to the next one.

5.) Make a bucket list!

Ok so I know bucket lists are controversial, especially if you’re super Type A like me and think you’re dooming yourself by putting a specific checklist out there you may or may not have the energy to commit to. But one of my friends suggested that with the newfound extra time I had in Seattle this October, I should bucket list my favorite Seattle sights and pick them out randomly to do over the following month. Was it a lot? Sure. But do you have to do one a day? Absolutely not. I totally cheated and skipped my way through multiple days, and this is my verbal confession that I, Sharon Zavlin, was not successful at doing the bucket list flawlessly. But it doesn’t matter. It helped me get out on paper what things I wanted to do, which like the letters of abandonment, helped me process that I was moving. Most importantly, because of doing the bucket list, I am leaving Seattle with zero regrets, confident that I can close the chapter without ripping a page out of the book.

6.) Remind yourself that moving is an adventure

I also try to live by the mantra of making each moment not what it could be, but living it for exactly what it is. The phrase “live in the moment” is generalized, but one of my friends changed it to “life in your moment”, which implies you are in control of what you get to hold on to. Moving is scary because you say bye to your life at one point in time, but what helped me especially when I was moving away from London - a place where I really longed for more time - was remembering that you aren’t really ending anything any more than changing the lens of the camera to focus on something different. Seattle was an incredible city but it served its purpose, and because I lived it to its fullest, I feel comfortable saying it’s time to live in MY next moment… in Chicago.

7.) Don’t try to rehash history when moving

We can all learn from our mistakes but there is a thin line between trying to be better and trying to regain control of new places by recreating the old ones. As a seasoned veteran to moving, one of the biggest obstacles I had to overcome was not thinking I could create the perfect recipe to Seattle by moving at the same timeline I stumbled through in London. I think this stemmed from people telling me all the time that Seattle would be a piece of cake in London, since I had already done one move and “oh, the weathers the same there!” What I had to learn the hard way was that not only is the weather super different between London and Seattle (London has lots of quick rain showers, it actually doesn’t rain in Seattle but rather is gloomy enough to destroy your Vitamin D levels), but life is super different in both places too, and for that matter, I’m a different person here than I was there. When you move a lot, keep in mind you WILL meet people at different paces and there really isn’t any way to have a perfect go at moving. It will take adjustment and discomfort and doubt, and that’s only normal. Instead of trying to control the uncontrollable, be confident in yourself. Being on your own means being self aware and trusting that you’ve got yourself, whether good or bad is on the horizon.

8.) You’re never too good for online anything

Ah, the one I was excited to write about. I can’t tell you all how nervous I was the first time I downloaded Bumble and went to the Bumble BFF feature. Me- so desperate for friends I was going to go on awkward “friend dates” to meet people I could be besties with? First paying for my friends in college through a sorority, and now this- my ego really couldn’t take the hit. But I did it. And not only did I download Bumble BFF, but I joined about a zillion Facebook groups and tried online dating too. The result? All the people I want to continue friendships with from Seattle are the people I met from Bumble BFF and Facebook. You just never know who you might meet. And in a place like Seattle -whether or not you believe in the Seattle Freeze- I’m so so glad I let go of my ego and allowed myself to meet some new people. Whether you end up meeting your soulmate or future best friend, the world of the internet is a powerful, special place.

9.) Embrace the move, don’t stay in the past

When I moved to London, I heard a lot of people advise me to avoid FaceTiming friends back home in favor of forcing myself to embrace the new home I was in. By putting social distance in between me and my hometown friends, I felt like I could actually immerse myself in the study abroad experience rather than feeling like it was a brief distraction from where I would end up. The same was true in Seattle. As much as I knew Seattle wasn’t going to be my forever home, I knew I wanted it to feel like one, so especially at the beginning of the move, I tried to distance myself from my friends in Chicago as much as possible. Obviously it’s hard to not see my lovely best friends faces’ every day in favor of the faces of total strangers, but you give yourself the best chance of turning those strangers into genuine friends by leaning in to the experience as much as possible.

10.) You’re on your own, kid

Twice in one entry?? We get it Sharon, you like Taylor Swift. The reason I’m including this, though, is because I truly believe that moving is one of the best ways to develop a more intimate relationship with the most important person in the world- yourself. Whether you go to dinner by yourself, decide how you want your new apartment to look without asking someone else for their opinion, or move away from your hometown, moving provides so many opportunities to rediscover yourself and grow. We are all rubber bands and have more elasticity than we give ourselves credit for. Whether you think moving will cause you to snap or not, I can tell you from experience that you won’t. You can do this, and I know, because I’m considering this my third time doing something I never thought I was capable of & I’m so grateful I did.

Thanks for reading yet another blog & I will talk to you next time from Chicago. Love you all❤️