Blimey I’m Knackered

Hi it’s me, obviously. Welcome to the first real edition of ~lost in london~. I am happy to report that I am actually only a little lost in london but have already discovered a lot about this weird, huge, unpredictable city, and a lot about myself.

First and foremost, london is HUGE. But also really small? Like everything is walkable but doing it all is impossible, and now I get what people mean when they say you could be here for years and still never explore everything. I’ve been here for four full days (though I did kind of sleep through most of today #welovejetlag) and have subsequently explored probably 1/100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 of everything this city has to offer. So far, though, I have been overwhelmed with food at borough market, tried a few croissants (one good, one not so good), seen the beautiful london bridge and Shard tower at night, walked like 15 miles (plus or minus not like I’m counting), marveled at my very first (very expensive) london fish and chips, went shopping on Oxford street and fell in love with primark, taken the tube successfully (twice!) from london bridge station, sipped on some afternoon tea, visited buckingham palace and seen the changing of the guards, strolled through green park, got covid tested (of course lol hi pandemic), taken a tour of gorgeously opulent Mayfair, grocery shopped at tesco and sainsburys (and called chips crisps!), marveled at the tate modern, listened to live music outside Shakespeares globe, attended orientation (bc school is obviously still important), taken my first sip of alcohol (for sure), and seen a LONDON cast perform six the musical. You can see some of the highlights through the pictures I added to this post:) All in all, its shocking it’s been basically only 3 days…but we waste no time of course.

This post is called Blimey I’m knackered because thats british slang for damn I’m exhausted. It’s also the name of a book my big found for me on British slang, so I thought it fitting that we start off with it. I’ve also decided that every entry will be titled after a piece of British slang (thanks Sydney!) or a phrase that describes that week (which is just an ESTIMATION bc writing once a week may prove hard to keep up with).

I am definitely exhausted. Beyond the jet lag and difficulties of physically staying awake/going to sleep, there is a lot to get used to. I feel like my life completely flipped on its head in exactly 7 hours and 40 minutes, which is how long the flight was. I definitely expected that not having a language barrier would eliminate the culture shock and boy was I wrong. Some discoveries I’ve made since arriving that may surprise you guys too: the eggs here are unrefrigerated, most expiration dates are either the day you buy items or the day after, the UK version of dollar tree is called poundland (or poundtown as I actually thought its name was), afternoon tea is served in an entire teapot per person, water costs money(so be sure to ask for tap!), supermarkets are self service (and bags cost money so you should reuse your old ones), musical programs cost money to buy, EVERYTHING is walkable, British people say sorry A LOT, crossing the street takes a LOT of practice, everything is either free or super, super expensive, and a lot more. These are just the immediate ones I could think of as I wait for the curtains to go up on one of my favorite musical productions, six!

So needless to say, there’s been a lot lf cultural growth. I feel like I understand different backgrounds a bit better already but also that my perspective is being expanded every minute. Every single day I wake up convinced that I know everything there is to know about london and its people and every day someone or something proves me wrong.

So yeah…I’m definitely exhausted lol. One thing that’s been pretty hard to navigate (and I’m sure you can relate if you have studied abroad or will in the future) is that balance between being a tourist and actually living here. On one hand, this city is bursting with amazing views, beautiful destinations, and fun things to do. But on the other, when I actually go out and do them (riding the london eye, for instance, or enjoying buckingham palace), I feel very out-of-place. I feel like this is a universally true thing in study abroad—that you aren’t really supposed to be a tourist or a local, so who are you?

I think this would be made easier if I had other people that were going through it with me (joining my little out group) but most of the people joining me in my CEA program haven’t arrived yet and will only get here on Saturday. So hopefully everything perks up by then, but for now, it definitely has proved one of the challenges of this trip. I just need to get a routine going and once school starts on monday and I can meet more people that will hopefully happen—it’s just the fun little adjustment period for now🙃

The other big challenge has been being burnt out by ALL the stuff there is to do here. This kind of goes hand in hand with the last thing, but so many different activities mean a lot of guilt when I don’t maximize every moment and use every day to its potential. Today, for example— my body needed fuel so I slept in, but I felt really guilty that I didn’t check another box off my list. Whether or not you’re studying abroad I think this is something a lot of us can relate to as we feel like we’re not living the “perfect” experience. At the end of the day, I think we all need to keep in mind that there is no perfect experience and sometimes we need rest. So in order to feel more like I’m living here and less like a tourist, I just need to become okay with the fact that I just can’t do everything and instead should do what feels right in the moment rather than just checking boxes. It’s not like I’ll remember if I went to every single museum in five months; I’ll just remember the fun moments and want to live with no regrets, and I’d regret it if I didnt let myself do everything I wanted(which does include sleep, Netflix, and calling my home friends).

Despite those challenges, the first week of my study abroad (or technically four days but again whose counting) has ABSOLUTELY been a game changer. I have not only pushed myself far out of my comfort zone but completely altered my mindset on life. I feel so much more curious and in tune with my surroundings. My friends back home can attest that I’m not a fast walker, but this city has made me excited to travel it all over. I feel so in tune with myself, as well. Those who know me know I’m a total extravert, but this trip has already pushed me to spend time on my own and like doing so. It has made me feel more able to take risks, chatting to (hehe there’s the British coming out of me I guess) new people (like at my orientation) and knocking on new doors(iykyk). I’ve become more passionate about the world and become a pretty great blogger too. And I’m also the most optimistic and excited I’ve ever been about what lies in store!

Tonight, a good friend of mine reminded me that this is “the one chance I have” to do this. I’ve been looking at that as a source of pressure but I’m gonna start looking at it as a reminder not to do more but to do whatever makes me happy in the moment, bc what else matters for any of us?

Starting with going to bed right now and manifesting a good night of sleep and a great next week:) See you next time!