40 Things 40-Year-Olds Just Don't Get

A few months ago, I was talking to a middle-aged person who said to me, “your generation are the laziest, most entitled people I’ve ever met. None of you want to do anything and make up problems in the space of your lack of obstacles. You’re always on your phones, always complaining, and always straying from the path – no matter how well it’s been landscaped for you by someone older.”

All in one breath! Say what you want about Gen X, they sure are efficient with their words. Millennials and Gen Z, we have to check our mood diaries and star signs before we can insult the same way.

That interaction gave me pause though. Freshly out of college, I considered for the first time how I was perceived by my older coworkers, family members, etc. Did everyone see me as just another “lazy, phone-obsessed zombie”? And if I was different, how could every other 20-something be so wretched that we deserved to be grouped under the same alienation from our older counterparts?

As I sat down to write this week’s entry, I decided to tackle these questions, and luckily found what I was looking for through our generation’s cure for everything: Google. Upon typing “What do 20-somethings suck at” into the search bar, a Forbes article from 2013 spat itself back out at me. Argued by contributor Jason Nazar, the article is entitled “20 Things 20-Year-Olds Don’t Get” and I think it brings up some good points about where Milennials and Gen Z (Not to mention Gen Alpha and whatever cringe is coming after them) went wrong. I’ll be the first to admit that I think even Nazar can admit things have changed 10 years after the articles publishing- thanks to that global pandemic and a few other pretty big events. But nevertheless, I thought I would take a look at Mr. Nazar’s list of what we can get better at, and see if we really do need his help. Which of these are accurate? And perhaps most importantly, if the younger generation has strayed so far from the path, where have the older generations gone wrong mapping it out for us? For the full original article, you can click here, but without further ado, let’s get responding.

1.) Time is Not a Limitless Commodity

Nazar makes the point that young professionals today think time is infinite, that we’ve replaced urgency to get to the next level with stagnation. I’ve got news for him: if I take ten of my friends and ask them if they are content to be in their current roles forever, I can almost bet I will go 0/10 on those that will say Yes. Yet between the hiring freeze unfolding universally and the emergence of non-traditional avenues, like nonprofit organizations, content creation, etc. to secure a livelihood, I can agree that progressing in life doesn’t like quite the way it did 20 years ago. What the older generations should know is that seizing opportunities isn’t often a choice anymore the way it used to be. But 20-somethings define self-worth differently- we spend our time on making a difference the way we think we can with our limited options instead, and we recognize that since we’ll probably have traditional work to think about until we’re the ripe age of 65 at least, there will always be time to get ahead in our careers a little later.

2.) You're Talented, But Talent is Overrated

Yikes, I think this is pretty similar to my experience- the old “entitled younger people” argument. I’ll be the first to agree that we are the most outspoken generation yet, but I will fight anyone who calls us as a whole “entitled” for the way we share our feelings and hardships with the world. In an age where so many people are talented, this argument is precisely the reason why self-esteem among younger professionals is at all time low. Told to compare ourselves by our older counterparts, we feel like we are all reusable. As someone who helps with interviewing and career progression (hit me up if you need any help with these things) on the side, the biggest struggle I hear is the inability for young people to believe that they are special and their story is worth telling. Let me, then, be the first to say that 1.) Each and Every person has something they can tap into that is of worth to any field or role and 2.) Results are overrated, if you don’t feel that they are actually driven by your potential and abilities.

3.) We’re More Productive in the Morning

No argument here, Mr. Nazar. This one I’d actually like to broadcast, because even though us younger folks like to sleep in, data does show that productivity is universally higher in the mornings. I think there’s a temptation (I definitely feel it myself) to cross the easy stuff on the checklist first, to do that stuff in the mornings so we can push the harder stuff to later in the day and “deal with it later”. However, doing that in the morning and saving the easy, quick stuff for later is an efficient way to get things done and feel better in the long-run according to the Eisenhower Matrix for prioritization. What I will say though, is that it’s perfectly alright to be an exception to this rule. You need to find when and how you get your best work done and 40-somethings need to realize not everyone comes with a “one size fits all” rule to tasks – that’s actually how you miss out on growth.

4.) Social Media is Not a Career

HAHA, say that to Charli D’Amelio, Alex Earle, and PewDiePie. These creators have relied on Social Media to gain a following, and boy do they have one. In 2022, the net worth of Charli D’Amelio hit 20 million dollars, and PewDiePie, a famous Youtube influencer, doubled that, at $40 million. But I think what’s even more impressive is that social media content creation is enabling regular people to earn a living through apps like TikTok and Instagram. At a time when the economy is tanking and regular jobs are often not an option, younger generations have been doing something older ones have got to be at least a little jealous of: Making money by relying on one person alone – themselves.

5.) Pick Up the Phone

His argument here is that in our internet-obsessed lives, Millenials began the dangerous trend of not bothering to call and talk to people on the phone rather than relying on text and email. While I won’t pretend he’s wrong, I will heavily disagree with the fact that this is somehow more efficient than written dialogue all the time. Kind of like returning to office post-COVID, I think the general rule is that there doesn’t actually need to be a general rule. Sometimes a face-to-face convo is necessary, sometimes a phone call, and sometimes a good old text message will suffice. Using written dialogue has some important work benefits, allowing people the ability to balance their lives a bit better by encouraging regular communication in a casual environment. I also disagree with the fact that we’ve become less confrontational, hiding behind our devices out of fear of networking and being resourceful. I believe the internet gives younger professionals the liberty to be resourceful and available at an unprecedented pace, and we’ve taken advantage of that ability to have courageous conversations that would “befuddle” (that’s the word he uses in his article”) the most adept 40-something.

6.) Be the First In & Last to Leave

Ah, we’ve hit the #1 argument that Gen X and Baby Boomers rely on to make the point that their children and grandchildren have truly hit rock-bottom. To quote from the experience I had at the start of this entry, HOW DARE WE not center our lives around work 24/7? For that matter, why don’t we sleep in our work offices too? Or tattoo “#1 Employee” on our foreheads? I’ve seen the TikToks that make this point, that the best employees are the ones who spend the most time working, because they demonstrate commitment and loyalty in a way that strictly 9-5 employees just can’t. Whether it’s out of jealousy that they didn’t realize it themselves or mere confusion about younger folk’s new concept of “work-life balance”, I just keep hearing the claim that “if we care, we would prioritize”. I argue we care. But our generation has more going for us- we care about other things too. And to those that say “you can have it all”, we say that the way to do that is to put in what you will get out, and prove you’re the best person for the job not by the time you spend, but the quality of the work you do.

7.) Don't Wait to Be Told What to Do

I would actually argue that we have the opposite problem that Nazar describes: it’s not that we think too little, but rather too much. We are scared of doing the wrong thing, which can be an incredibly debilitating feeling especially when starting a new endeavor, but at the same time, we WANT to leave our own original mark on our tasks, rather than just building someone else’s brand for them. Thus I would say that the issues here arise from generational differences that often come up on a new work team. Don’t just blame young professionals for feeling stuck or being “too obedient”; rather, emphasize to managers the importance of encouraging atmospheres of creativity and autonomy in the workplace.

8.) Take Responsibility for Your Mistakes

In addition to being “too obedient”, it looks like older people characterize us as being “too reckless” at the same time. God, we really can’t win! All I can say is that it is obviously very important for everyone to admit their wrongdoings as a part of getting better. If it comes across as defensive when we do it, its only because we take a lot of pride in our desire to make things better than before, and without stereotyping everyone into one bucket, we really do hold ourselves to a higher standard. Due to #2 on this same list, it can often feel like we’re drowning in our own comparisons, and that’s precisely why its important to not make lists like this which alienate younger people and make them feel entitled for thinking the way they are.

9.) You Should Be Getting Your Butt Kicked

I got to say that I do love that Nazar’s evidence for this one comes from one of the best movies out there, “The Devil Wears Prada”. And this is another one I agree with for the most part, since no one is completely off-limits when it comes to what I like to call “corporate hazing”, or putting people through hell so that they get better and are humbled by their jobs. Where I draw the line, though, is saying that because older generations have had to feel bad about themselves while striving for the American Dream, we need to do the same. Because the truth is, the American Dream has changed. There are an infinite number of ways to get ahead and rather than continuing to kick the butt of our younger coworkers, we should strive to respect them enough to pass along lessons so we help them grow THEIR American dreams.

10.) A New Job a Year Isn't a Good Thing

Boy oh boy oh boy, have us younger folk been waiting for this one. Instead of disputing this one, I’ve decided to let more current business literature do it for me:

21 Crucial Change Statistics [2023]: How Often Do People Change Jobs? - Zippia

Should I Quit My Job? How a New Role Can Benefit Your Career (businessinsider.com)

Ten Reasons Successful People Change Jobs More Often (forbes.com) (Another Forbes one which is always fun)

I love my company and so I never advocate anyone to jump ship “just because”, plus I agree that an annual career change is excessive. But our generation HAS figured out that switching roles, even within the same company, can be a huge advantage AND that it is critical to valuing ourselves and being self-aware. Loyalty at the cost of personal growth is something I think everyone could stand to stay away from.

11.) People Matter More Than Perks

I mean, no one is going to argue with this point, but I’m also confused as to why this one isn’t being boomeranged back at older professionals. When I hear about picking jobs based on “fluffy perks”, as they are labelled in the original article, it is usually out of the mouths of older generations who believe that quantitative benefits should be the basis on which career decisions are made. I believe that thanks to Millennials (I love you guys and sort of feel like one of you, if you can’t tell), we see a huge value in joining companies that value what we value,and focus on long-term career development as key to planning ahead.

12.) Map Effort to Your Professional Gain

“Keep your eye on the prize” is at the heart of Nazar’s next criticism of Gen Z, that we quit too early in our negligence for getting ahead. Again, it’s interesting that this one seems to directly dispute his earlier point that we are too entitled as a generation. In fact, I would argue that our generation’s fault isn’t with planning ahead, but rather slowing down! Our older counterparts, in their race to get to the next level, missed out on so much opportunity, whether it included doing horizontal job hopping or rotational opportunities. Sometimes it’s worth taking a chance on something new, instead of pretending you know everything at 20, to actually discover what we really want the prize to be. After all, you don’t want to look back at 40 with regrets, right?

13.) Speak Up, Not Out

“We’re raising a generation of sh-t talkers.” – a direct quote from the Forbes article

This one made me laugh, because you won’t find any argument from me here. We love to talk about our workplaces with our co-workers on lunch breaks or with our friends after work, and we don’t always say the loveliest things. Older generations see this as detrimental because they say we should put our energies into changing the system, voicing our complaints directly to management to “make the system better” and all that jazz. This is the scoff-able part, because that sounds like a road map to getting fired. It’s an employers market out there, and even if a lot of us often wish we could rid our workplaces of the stuff that gets in the way of progress, it is never left up to us 20-somethings, often the “first to go” when it comes to layoffs, though expected to be the “last to leave” the office each day. Ideally, we would speak up but I think Corporate America isn’t ready to hear what we have to say yet. Change is on the horizon though, and I really wish the 40-somethings of the world would take their own advice with this one.

14.) You HAVE to Build Your Technical Chops

I agree that technical experience is important, but actually disagree if the argument is that technical skills are more important on a resume than soft skills, no matter what you’re applying for. As time has gone on and the amount of jobs out there has expanded (maybe not the number of them, but definitely the variety available), the specific skills and programs out there have too. No two jobs require you to know the same things, let alone any two companies. With the exception of being “proficient in Microsoft Office” there really isn’t much else that’s critical to have on your technical roster, yet almost every hiring manager out there can vouch for wanting applicants that are communicationally gifted, that have teamwork skills, and that are flexible and willing to learn. Those soft skills aren’t going away any time soon, and arguments like this one only serve to keep younger folk from applying from jobs they don’t think they’re qualified for. There’s a learning curve with every job, and the only way to build technical skills is to jump out of your comfort zone and take chances you wouldn’t have typically.

15.) Both the Size and Quality of Your Network Matter

In an ideal world, we could leave it at this argument, but time isn’t limitless, as we’ve already established in #1 on this list. So when it comes to prioritizing networks, my advice to my own aged professionals is to focus on the quality of connections. Anyone can drop a connect on a calendar and ask “hey how’d you get into X”, but making yourself stand out is what really counts to getting ahead. Volunteering yourself up as a resource to people higher up in the organization and finding value through the classic recurring connect are the best things you can do to expand your network in a meaningful way.

16.) You Need At Least 3 Professional Mentors

See #17, I’m going to tackle these two birds with one stone😊

17.) Pick an Idol & Act “As If”

My issue with #16 and #17 on Nazar’s list is that it criticizes what I think is our younger generations’ biggest win going for us: the fact that we think we can be better than those that came before us. Since as young as I can remember, I’ve heard people use the phrase “respect your elders”, which I do think, to some extent, is an important thing to do. Where it goes array is when we are expected to emulate those older than us in a work context, bullied into believing they set a cap that we cannot and should not want to exceed. In my opinion, just as the whole point of raising children should be to give them a better life than the one you had, the whole point of managing employees should be giving them the ability to learn from your mistakes. Here we hit the next big issue that older people tend to think we need to buy into: faking it till we make it. My question is why? Why fake it when we can just be as authentic as possible and as willing to make mistakes as possible? Sure, we have to own them, but why not do it in our own way, instead of following what someone else laid out for us? As our generation brings autonomy back to the workplace, I argue that we shouldn’t want younger people to settle or to build the brand the way we used to. We should want them to do it their own way, growing our companies as they grow themselves. Because establishing buy-in doesn’t work quite the same way it used to in 1990, and today’s newer employees already have figured that out.

18.) Read More Books, Fewer Tweets/Texts

Ugh, its always cringe to argue the claim that we are brain-dead zombies who are addicted to our phones, but it nonetheless comes up in any list of our downfalls. There is so much that can be said about how much media we can consume (some good, some bad, some very bad), but no one can or SHOULD argue that we have cut out depth and passion because we are internet-addicted. Having media has given us the gift of connection, and ours is the first generation to use that for good. Reading books is good, but what does it matter if there’s no BookTok to discover new books, or no Reddit to share theories (Like the end of Colleen Hoover’s Verity, which has me compulsively reading fan theories). It’s just the opposite of what the original argument says- the keys to success DON’T lie in others’ past experiences, success lies in our own creativity and comeback from failure. Perhaps most importantly, success lies in sharing our stories with others, an area Gen Z and Millennials thrive. In 2021, the Twitter "Dear Intern" thread exploded, a viral phenomenon where young people boosted each other's self-confidence by sharing their own stores of failure at the beginning of their jobs. We don’t see sharing failures and weaknesses as a weakness like our older counterparts. We see it as a strength.

19.) Spend 25% Less Than You Make

The U.S. Inflation rate for 2023 is at 3.7% , according to the US Inflation Calculator, an increase from 3.2% in the prior period. Gas prices are up 66%, Airfare is up 36%, School lunches at Elementary schools have gone up 254% in the last 12 months (World Economic Forum, 2023). So the statistics speak for themselves, because this is one where we should all take pity on young professionals. It is not a great time to move into your own place, covering grocery, fuel, and other expenses all on your own. Stretched paycheck to paycheck, it isn’t a matter of prioritizing saving more as it is the recipe for how to do it. Now more important than ever, it is critical to teach students about managing their money, rather than blaming them for overspending out of laziness and entitlement.

20.) Your Reputation is Priceless, Don’t Damage It

#20 on Nazar’s list brings us to the end of his list and my final two lessons for 40-something employees who worry about the takeover of young professionals. As more and more of my generation graduate and look for jobs in the workplace, the question becomes not if our reputation isn’t priceless, but about whether or not being perceived as successful really matters quite as much as we have been led to believe. Nazar argues that once lost, we can’t get our reputation back, that how others perceive us matters as much, if not more, than how we perceive ourselves. This is the critical mistake he and the rest of his generation make. We DO care. We just care about feeling fulfilled, feeling good about what we stand for and good about the legacy we leave- MORE than we care about whether others are impressed by us. We care about bringing things to the surface and having tough conversations and strong relationships more than we care about a number at the end of a quarter. We care about making a difference because we know what happens if you stay on a path that is under reconstruction – you end up getting bulldozed over too.

And the sooner everyone sees that for exactly the gift that it is, the sooner we can start working together to build a more cohesive Corporate America.